Sunday, August 12, 2007

To Live is Christ

My sweet, amazing, God fearing and loving husband preached on this today. Very convicting. He spoke about the things that define us and how they change. Like right now, the baby defines him. He thinks about her and what life will be like with her all of the time. Paul says, "To live is Christ and to die is gain". Christ defines Paul. Whoa. Does Christ define me? That was a hard pill to swallow. How I desire for Christ to define me. Phillip asked the residents at the nursing home where he was preaching if they are afraid to die. Most of them said no but I suspect that they are a little afraid. I realized that I am not. I am afraid of how I might die but I am not afraid of dying and it is because Christ is on the other side of death. So it seems that i have the last part of the verse down but the first got me. He also talked about how we can't desire Christ and what's to come if we haven't tasted Him. "Taste and see that the Lord is good". We cannot desire what we have not tasted. He pointed out that Paul is living out the 2 greatest commandments: 1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. He is living for Christ and desiring to be with Him and he is living because he loves his neighbors. Paul got it. He loved Christ with all that he had and Christ defined him. John Piper's spin on this verse is, "To live is Christ and to die is more Christ". Love it. If Christ is what you desire and what defines you then you lose nothing in death. "O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory?"

I'll leave you with this question: What defines you?


It's been awhile. We are still alive. Nothing major has happened. We did move to a much bigger space two weeks ago. This weekend, Phillip's parents were here. We painted the nursery (we have one!!) and they brought the crib up and helped assemble it. It's very strange to walk into that room now and see paint and a crib and changing table. A baby will be living there soon. 9 weeks soon. We are now down to single numbered weeks. We started at 40 and now we are facing 9 weeks until my due date. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll go early. I really don't think she's going to wait 9 more weeks. Weird. Exciting. I am so ready! It's in the 100s here. Very hot. Not very comfortable. At all. But pregnancy is still awesome. Sickness and stretching and extreme fatigue and back pain, still all worth it.

My dad called yesterday and said that my sweet grandmother is in the hospital. She has been there since Wednesday night and still has a few more days. They don't really know what's wrong. At first they said it was a light stroke. Now they're not sure. She is in physical therapy and is walking with a cane. It hurts my heart to imagine her in pain and helpless. Honestly, I am surprised that she has been as independent as she is. My grandfather died in 1997 after they had celebrated 50 years of marriage. I really didn't think she'd make it on her own. She has survived on her own for 10 years. I worry about her a lot. things like who is going to know if something happenes to her. About a month ago, she fell. But she called my aunt and uncle and they got her taken care of. And now this. Living away from home has shown me how old our grandparents are getting. It's hard to see. I think being near them and seeing them a lot before we moved blinded us to this hard fact. I just don't want to be spending their last years a long way away. I'm ready to be home.

My sister has had some drama. I won't go into detail but she is making some bad decisions. I don't know what the deal is or what is influencing her but it needs to go away. She is 18. I want her to make something of her life. But I'm worried that she is heading nowhere. But I have to suport her and love her no matter what she does, if I approve of it or not. She is my sister. Her situations have shown me what we are like outside of Christ. Our sin nature is huge. We cannot do anything worth anything without Him. Sin is ugly and makes us do ugly things.

On a happier note, we have an ultrasound tomorrow. It's an ultrasound that I have looked forward to since I was made aware that these were possible. It's in 4-D. We will be able to physically see her and what she looks like before she actually arrives! I'm so excited! I'm also curious to watch her move around and kick just to see how she is actually laying. I feel her all over, rolling and kicking or punching in different spots. Technology is amazing. I'm so thankful for it. Maybe seeing her will help us decide what in the world to name her......